You Just Don’t Care

When a close friend shares with you that the pastor made uninvited sexual advances towards her and you argue that the pastor is a godly man and wouldn’t do such a thing, you just don’t care enough about protecting people against abuse in a religious community.

When you see bruises on your sister’s arm and know that her husband has a history of physically hurting her and you choose to not ask her about the bruises, you just don’t care enough to make things messy within the family.

When your young child tells you that the female babysitter is making him do things that are “scary” and you ignore his words because it’s more convenient for you to keep using the same sitter, you just don’t care enough to protect your child from harm.

When you see a co-worker being lied about and their career damaged because of the toxic behaviors of others, you just don’t care enough about workplace abuse to be part of the solution to stopping it.

When you know a friend plays psychologically abusive mind games with his girlfriend and is obviously causing her intense emotional distress, you just don’t care enough to stand up to the abuser and tell him you see the games he plays.

When you watch several family members scapegoat another member to the point of causing anxiety for the person, you just don’t care enough to be an ally to the abused individual because you don’t want to be targeted too.

When you know your friend’s wife chronically belittles and berates him to the point of causing him to be depressed, you just don’t care enough to tell him that he deserves to be treated better.

When you look the other way to abuse, exploitation, and discrimination you simply just don’t care enough.

Will you care enough when the tide of life shifts and you are the target?

Will someone else care enough about you and intervene?

What have you recently done to show that you are willing to stand in the gap for another person?

Or what have you done to send the message that you just don’t care?

What are you willing to do to stop abuse in all its forms?

Your answers to these questions will help shape the type of communities we all reside within.

Survivors, know that many of us do care. Many of us work tirelessly to loudly ring the warning bell that abusers walk among us. Many of us love you as sisters and brothers. Many of us believe that bad things did happen and were covered up by people who should have stood up for you. Many of us are you, a survivor, too.

One comment on “You Just Don’t Care

  • When your friend tells you that her charming husband has deceived her and has had a secret double life and destroyed their family and you still chose to hug him in public, that’s endorsing him as a decent person. You don’t care enough about domestic abuse to risk standing up against abuse.

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