I am not sure who said it, but I remember hearing a speaker share that a relationship between two people is only as healthy as the weakest person. Ouch. Nobody wants to be the weaker link in a relationship. But sometimes we are and we need to be honest about that fact.

While working with married couples, I rarely state that the conflicts are caused equally by both spouses. I believe that the idea of 50/50 responsibility for the problems within the relationship is a myth. No, my experience tells me that there is usually one partner who is dragging the relationship down more than the other partner. It’s not blame, just the reality of what I have seen.

Within our relationships, if we are ones who are struggling with chronic depression, then we may be bringing a grey cloud over the relationship and our lives together. If we are prone to angry outbursts, we are welcoming unnecessary strife and wounds into our relationship. If selfishness has taken residence within us and we operate out of a hardened heart, we are definitely not able to be a loving participant within any relationship in our lives.

It’s always a good idea to take an inventory of the baggage we may be bringing with us. Being aware really is the first step to change.