Five Things I’ve Learned This Week – 09/18/13

counseling

Five Things I’ve Learned This Week or Was Reminded Of:

1) Emotional blackmail/manipulation is real and painful (actually really painful). I started reading “Emotional Blackmail” by Dr. Susan Forward and I highly recommend it for men and women who think they may be doing life with someone who utilizes fear, obligation or guilt (FOG) to get their way in the relationship. There are great scenario studies, as well as concrete suggestions of how to change the dynamics of the relationship.

2) Being lonely as a college student is not unusual anymore. Old people like me use to just assume that all college kids were having a blast with friends and a busy social life but in the last few years I have noticed a distinct trend in more college kids not connecting with other students. Getting involved in an on-campus organization is often the connecting point needed to get students headed in the right direction.  A lonely college student rarely does well in their classes and often will return home early and feeling defeated.

3) How we interpret other people’s behaviors is the key to either seeing their actions as loving or offensive. It never ceases to amaze me how just a shift in perspective can change our attitude about someone and their intentions toward us.

4) Great quote: “Real soul mates are eternally bound – they will change each other in ways that you never imagined and they will make it through the most difficult of times” – R. Singh.

5) Setting boundaries with our family of origin isn’t unloving or rejecting them. It is respecting ourselves as adults and attempting to maintain a connection that is healthier than maybe had been in previous times. If family members try to use guilt when you set healthy boundaries, try picking up the book I referenced in #1.

What’s on your list?