Five Things I’ve Learned This Week – 08/14/13

counseling

Five Things I’ve Learned This Week or Was Reminded Of:

1) As Christians, we sometimes get so engulfed within our church bubble that we lose the ability to hear ourselves when we are speaking with folks that don’t go to church. Many of us come across really holier-than-thou. A gracious response opens doors of communication that a critical spirit would have welded shut; maybe permanently.

2) An effective apology heals a multitude of wounds in a relationship. A simple “I am sorry I upset you” can be just the balm needed to soothe red hot emotions after a disagreement.  Do you know the type of apology that works best for you when received? Check out the Apology Language Profile. It’s from the author of the Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman.  Highly recommend the quiz.

3) Everyone will find their own perch on the tree of life. We need to step back and let people figure out what works for them. This can be especially hard if we see ourselves as having a vested interest in where someone lands in life. Some people may succeed in college, others might not. Some people might have children and others may choose not to become parents. We have to get out of the way and allow people to find their nitch in the rat race. It’s not our place to decide what is best for people and we also have the freedom to choose for ourselves.

4) It’s easy to lose ourselves in our relationships and forget what is important to the quality of our experience as a human. We often put kids, spouses, extended family and friends ahead of ourselves and become what Dr. Forward calls “supporting actors” in other people’s lives. Finding the balance between our individual needs and the needs of those around us is an on-going process. Losing ourselves in giving to others isn’t a sign of higher living; although it often is incorrectly spiritualized by religious folks who take certain Bible references out of context and often to their own benefit. So be careful when people try to use Scripture to justify unbalanced living.

5) Exhaustion is a tough bedfellow for couples. If you or your partner are chronically exhausted, make an agreement to be extra forgiving and sympathetic to behaviors that might not be the norm for one or both of you. Then try and get some much needed rest. A Get Out of Jail free card for exhaustion can only last for so long.

What’s on your list? 

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